I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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