I'm really into asian looking animals
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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