This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
