we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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