i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
