Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
