When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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