he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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