Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
