What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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