No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
