I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I should be sponsored by Trojan
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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