Three words: puerto rican gang bang
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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