this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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