Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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