i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
