If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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