So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
