Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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