I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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