that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
this hospital has no fireball
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
