whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Randomize
