I just cut my nipple shaving
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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