If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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