try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize