question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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