Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
