Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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