laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
