I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
