My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
50% drunk capacity currently
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
