how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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