i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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