It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
