We won't sleep together?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
