so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She just used a chaser for red wine.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
