I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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