I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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