I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
