You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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