what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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