You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
