quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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