do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
