YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
