It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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