DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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