PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
the day after is always just damage control
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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