so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
