Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
