is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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