My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
