what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she peed on how many people?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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