were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
