I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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