Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
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