try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
