I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
