I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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