my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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