I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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