i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Welp...herpes.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
