I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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