Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
