If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
