you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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