Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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