bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
