my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
