I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize