If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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