Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
