i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
