I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
