Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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