No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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