this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
