I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize