It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
