im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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