They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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