I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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